the angry panda speaks
or, "don't take this blog too seriously..."
Monday, July 19, 2010
Education > Schooling
Nobody believes that the "education" of a person is limited to only the time spent in schools. We learn what it means to be a person in our world through our parent figures, peers, and the stories we hear, see, and live. This learning is certainly not restricted to our schools - almost the opposite is true. As students, we spend much of our time anxiously awaiting the "real world," where authentic learning will take place and we will truly begin to live our lives.
This is not to say schools are not important. Knowledge is power. Self efficacy is integral to later success, and this is largely established in schools. Certainly schools are educational institutions. The thing is, so are churches, movie theatres, parks, billboards, subways, courts, delis, and on and on. Does not learning happen in all of these places? And can we be confident, even, that it is not more learning that happens in these other institutions?
Sure, at school learning, and teaching, are intentional. That's exactly my point. By confusing the issue, by equating schools with education, we've come to forget that we are responsible for the teaching of our youth in every corner of society. Schools are responsible for academics, communities are responsible for learning. Schools are a part of the education system, they are not it's entirety.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Strengthening a Sense of Openness
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On Monday, for our Spirituality night, Jessie had us work on our talks. She put on some music and we went to work. At one point, a very distracting Lauryn Hill song came on. I asked her to switch the music, but not before Lauryn Hill had commented on how we “lay ambush for the man who has a different point of view, infuriated because he doesn’t understand and brings up things we don’t want to talk about.” I think she was insinuating that we ought to be more open.
I define openness as “hearing another without judgment.”
Openness isn’t just about listening to another person’s arguments in order to formulate a best counter-argument. Openness isn’t listening to another’s words and shrugging, condescendingly holding back with a “well, that’s what you believe.” Openness is actually hearing the words, the thoughts, the perspective of another. Hearing the other with an assumption of legitimacy, of intelligence, and most importantly, of justification. It is hearing another and being fully prepared to say “you’re right.”
Sometimes this is easy to do; often it is next to impossible. That is, to be fully prepared and ready to say “you’re right.” This isn’t to say that openness is achieved only through agreement. We are free to disagree, of course, but where does that disagreement come from? Is it honest, objective and humble disagreement? Or does it come from insecurity, attachment, guilt, or, even worse, pride? To be open we have to be free of all these. We have to open our ears, our minds, our hearts, and truly hear the other – before we start thinking about what to say, or do next.
Openness is hearing another without judgment.
Openness lacks judgment. It is hearing another without ever judging the person neither before nor after they have spoken. This may be an impossible task. Nonetheless, it is one to strive for. Despite everything, can we withhold judgment of another? Being open is more than just hearing another. Can we accept them, the other person or people, as equals? Neither above nor below us? No matter what we think of their thoughts, beliefs, actions, can we withhold that judgment? As has been said before, we can judge actions, thoughts, beliefs etc. as objectively as possible, within frameworks that we know, but we can never judge a person.
Think of anybody in your life that you feel you know the best. Family members, best friends, loved ones, significant others past and present. Who did you know the best? Now, in truth, how well did you know them? How well do you know their inner thoughts, the breadth or scope of their experience? The subtleties of what it means to be them in the world they live in? We see God through a muddy glass. We see each other through a tinted muddy glass. Perhaps judgment is justified, but that is never for us to say.
So, I believe openness is truly “hearing another without judgment.” However, this is not a “This I Believe” essay so it’s time to switch gears.
When I was in grade eleven at Carleton Place High School, the public high school I went to in Ontario, Canada (Colleen), my parents asked me how I would feel about moving to Vermont. This is after I begged and pleaded my best friend Alex not to abandon us (Dan and myself) for Toronto. However, moral was very low in the public education system, not a lot was happening and I thought it would be sweet to experience St. Johnsbury Academy, the private school I would be attending in Vermont. An adventure, if you will. So I agreed, took a summer class in mathematics, and then entered what became my final year of high school. It was an adventure, and in the end I am thankful for it despite the disdain shown towards a public education. Let this not define my year there, but one of the best things that happened was a motivational speaker that was brought to the school.
Lame, I know, and they aren’t ever supposed to actually accomplish anything. And to be honest, I hardly remember what he looks like and certainly don’t remember what he said, except for this one story. I do remember that all of his stories came from past experiences as a motivational speaker which makes you wonder what he had to say when he started. Nonetheless, one story stood out and struck a chord with me.
It was about boys in a cafeteria. This speaker, we’ll call him Bob, was sitting with a group of students at lunchtime either before or after a speech. A boy in raggedy clothing came in, and sat down alone at another table. A different table of boys started joking and making fun of this other kid, saying things like “Why are you wearing the same clothes again? Why didn’t you get new clothes, are you too poor to afford a new shirt? Maybe you should drop out of school and get a job, earn some money!” And it went on.
Bob, our speaker, conveniently happened to know the kid with the raggedy clothes and his story and so, when that other table of boys were leaving, he got up and caught them in the hall. He asked them if they knew why Paul, the kid with the raggedy clothes, was wearing the same clothes for the 5th day in a row? They said no, among some snickers and smirks. Bob told them that Paul hadn’t been home. He said that Paul’s sister had been in a terrible car accident, was close to death, and that Paul had been going straight to the hospital after school, working, eating and sleeping by her side until the morning when he would return for classes.
The boys were silent until one said “Sorry, we didn’t know.”
Bob responded, “How were you supposed to know?”
This story is simple, cliché, not particularly good and might even be made up. I don’t really care, the story itself is not the point. It is that Bob responded to the boys with “How were you supposed to know?” This hit me deep. “How were you supposed to know?” Often times we excuse ourselves the way the boys did, with a “I didn’t know,” or a “if I had known that then…” or even a “how was I supposed to know?”
And the thing is, probably you weren’t supposed to know.
We have a hard enough time getting to know the people closest to us. We can go back to that person we were thinking about before, and how much we still don’t know about them. We aren’t expected to know everybody, not even close. But this means that some humility is in order.
This story Bob told made me stop. It made me say to myself, although not in so many words, that it would probably be a good idea to stop for a second and listen a little bit more. It made me think about how little I do know about other people, and consequently about the world and this thing we call reality (as far as we can sense it). It made me want to be more open, even in the simplest relationships. It made me want to cultivate my sense of openness.
This feeling got major support a couple of summers later when I was working at P&H Truck Stop. One of the waitresses and one of the cooks were partners, working for low wages and not the best hours (the waitress sometimes did the overnight with me). Through random conversations I came to learn that they had once owned a series of restaurants across the country. They were working at P&H because they had retired. They had sold their restaurants, purchased some land in Vermont and were enjoying working in the business they loved without the stress of management. A destruction of all sorts of stereotypes. This further strengthened my resolve to be open, truly open to others in all regards.
This, however, is not always easy. I had a good friend at St. Johnsbury who I don’t speak to anymore (not related to a conflict). Her name is Kristen, and we could never speak about politics. She loved Bush and, well, that was hard for me. And I couldn’t deal with it. We could not have had an open, honest conversation. Why? Because I cared too much.
And there’s the rub. I believe openness to be good, if not essential. But it’s not trivial openness that is worth speaking of. It is openness with the things that are rooted the most deeply in our hearts, the things that make us the most passionate. Can we be open to someone who speaks against the things that we don’t just dear, but the things that root us and provide us with the foundation upon which we live our lives?
Last year I had a really discouraging encounter with an S.D.A. Christian named Seth. Marcos and I met him through the ISC, and later in the year he asked Marcos if he could speak to him about Catholicism. Marcos agreed, and I made sure to be there for the conversation. Why? Because I thought that after spending so much energy in college on inter-religious dialogue I was ready for some intra-religious dialogue – that is, dialogue between different sects and denominations of one religion. In our case, Christianity.
I thought I wanted to dialogue, but I was wrong. I didn’t want to be open to him. I wanted to open him. I wanted him to see what it meant to be open to diversity, to break away from the idea of right and wrong, or at least more right or less right. He was a fundamentalist, but he was a fundamentalist who was honestly in search of truth, which I would consider an admirable pursuit. But I couldn’t hear him, because my entire worldview was at stake. So much of my time and energy, and so many millions of life decisions, big and small, were based on the assumptions that I had developed through my own experience. If I was wrong… I couldn’t even think of it, not really.
So what happened? I got impassioned, frustrated, and could feel my pride crying “red alert.” Saying, “Lincoln, you have to be right on this one or it is going to be really, really embarrassing.” I didn’t hear anything he was saying, and showed his perspective little respect. I could not allow it to be justified, it would undercut too much of who I was, who I had been with such sureness.
It is so, so hard to be truly open. Open with the things that matter most. Yet, as usual, those are ironically the things we need to be the most open with.
My favourite minister said that “Diversity is the hardest thing to live with and the most dangerous thing to live without.” It’s true. We need diversity. Of thought, of opinion, of perspective. We cannot seek homogeneity in thought, in opinion, nor in perspective. Diversity is something that should be sought, encouraged, strengthened – it should not be deconstructed, undercut or made irrelevant. And diversity exists all levels, in all sorts of different, overlapping and concentric circles. Can we truly be open to it?Openness is the sense that I speak to, but it is not unique to me. Especially the pursuit of it. The uniqueness may lie only in the fact that I decided to talk about it. Openness, the hearing of another without judgment, is a sense though. We know when we are being truly open, and we know when we are not. We can sense it.
The question that I’ve been trying to work on with intentionality since the guy we call Bob came to speak at St. Johnsbury Academy is this:
Can we be truly open to another, on any topic, in any situation?
Perhaps not, but it’s at least what I strive for, in the hopes that if I can’t achieve absolute openness, at least I can come closer to it.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Cultural Presumptuousness
Last November the
“What an example of cultural imperialism!” we cried. “This is so absurdly inappropriate, a stunning example of the negative effects of American cultural influence on weaker, smaller cultures. What an atrocity! An embarrassment!” We fumed, we talked, we threw up our hands. “Why did Americans ever come in the first place?”
However, after having a couple of conversations and observing the Thanksgiving Masses, it became clear that the Chuukese at least have made the holiday their own. Thanksgiving is a meaningful, powerful and beautiful holiday here in Chuuk. There is no celebration of pilgrim landings – there is a celebration instead of thing people here have to be thankful for. It is a celebration of family, of friends, of fish to eat, breadfruit to pound, islands to live on, of life. It is also a very religious holiday – a celebration of God and her loving presence in everything.
Above all, Thanksgiving in Chuuk is a holiday infused with meaning for the Chuukese, and one that is heeded with respect and reverence. For the Chuukese, it is a time to stop, contemplate, and give thanks to the many things we spend the majority of our lives taking for granted. The timing, to be sure, is more than a little irrelevant for the Chuukese, and for Micronesians, but the day and month is, in the end, of little consequence. For Chuuk, and presumably for the greater FSM, the essence of the holiday has nothing to do with pilgrims, Native Americans or rich forested coasts. Chuukese, and presumably Micronesians in general, have taken the holiday and made it their own, made it something meaningful and consequential to themselves. It is an American holiday, to be sure, but it has also become a Chuukese one, a Micronesian one.
Which brings me to the point. If we go back a couple of paragraphs we can read about our cries of indignation. Cries, I’ve since realized, that were based in a subtle, but fundamental and dangerous cultural arrogance on our part. We assumed that anything American was forced on these islands and that these islands really had no say in the matter. More sharply, we assume that the power of American culture is so great that the people of FSM, and the people of Chuuk, could do nothing in the face of it. That it’s power is so great as to take away the ability of Micronesians, of Chuukese, to think for themselves.
We assumed that the Chuukese were not thinking for themselves. That they were following blindly, ambiguously, superficially. And yet the truth is very different. Chuuk saw something good, and adopted it. The FSM saw something good, and adopted it. This country is full of free thinking, intelligent people. While other forms of cultural influences are more nuanced, complicated, and hard to navigate, the celebration of Thanksgiving Day is a simple choice. And it is one that was made, quite explicitly, quite simply. The national government asked itself, does the FSM want to celebrate Thanksgiving Day? The State government of Chuuk asked itself, does Chuuk want to celebrate Thanksgiving Day? Both said yes. So who are we to say no?
And this kind of cultural arrogance can be pervasive. The idea that American, or Western culture is so strong as to strip people of the ability to think for themselves. Such a fundamental assumption is extraordinarily disempowering. Such an assumption strips even more meaning from the very lives we pity for their superficiality, their loss of meaning.
One can see this globally in Christianity. Christianity spread through the missionary work of millions of ministers, priests, and lay people. Christianity spread through an effort to “save the pagans” or to “save the heathens.” There’s no denying or hiding this. And yet it would be well to remember that Christianity in and of itself is not a bad thing. In fact, it is something quite beautiful. And presumably this is what millions of people saw, despite the potential arrogance of the missionaries themselves. You could never go up to a Ghanaian, or an Indian, or a Chuukese Christian and say, “the only reason you believe in Christianity is because of historical cultural imperialism,” because this would be an insult to their intelligence and a devaluing of their spiritual life. So why do we think such things?
I am not saying that the weight and power of American and/or Western culture is inconsequential. I am saying that we would do well to humble ourselves a little bit when we think about our influence on cultures abroad. That, in the end, people think for themselves and that, in the end, if they decide they don’t like something American, or something Western, they won’t buy into it. To not give people of other cultures the final say is arrogant, disempowering, and insulting.
That, in the end, the Chuukese celebrate Thanksgiving Day late in November not just because it is a random American holiday, but because they want to. Needless to say, our cries were effectively silenced.
Will You Marry Me?
3rd period. Right after lunch. 10 minutes into class. Junior English Skills in 11 Maroon. We had just finished our daily journal entry, about our strengths and weaknesses in public speaking, and were transitioning into a lesson on building a speech when it began.
There are two doors in each of our classrooms. One at the front, and one at the back. Kendall, one of the best Junior students, and David Mersai, a smart but lazy joker of a student, had just stepped out of the back door into the hall. I called to them, told them to come back inside. They seemed to be assenting, as they walked to the front door (there are windows between the classroom and the hall) to re-enter the classroom.
Then,
He sat himself in front of TJ, who happens to be a phenomenal actor (and volleyball player). “Tirow om,” he said – a very, very humble “excuse me.” And he began speaking to TJ. Nelly, one of my best female students, translated for me (yes, they were speaking Chuukese in an English skills class).
So, we have a father and son, meeting with two parents, their daughter and an aunt, discussing the marriage of the daughter and son. And they went through the entire ceremony, and they did it with commitment. Jessica was holding her daughter, crying at the idea of losing her. TJ was warning Kendall of all his daughters negative attributes,
This was all with impressive authenticity. I have no idea how it was pulled off. I have no idea how these students were able to take ten minutes of class to do an impromptu performance of a marriage request, in Chuukese no less, without any hint of disrespect to myself or the class. We were discussing speeches, so the event was not unrelated, and we were able to accomplish the lesson in spite of all this, but still. I personally thought it was great because I had a chance to see a thorough presentation of the Chuukese proposal ceremony. And everyone in the class was engaged throughout – no one’s mind wandered, no one was bored. They threw in a couple of jokes, but the overall mood was solemn, respectful, and, well, impressively authentic.
I’m going to miss these kids…
Friday, November 16, 2007
Reflections on Being a Volunteer
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I’ve never felt completely at ease here. I have never been %100 without reservation about my role here.
For starters, I work at a private school. This is against my most basic principals and belief in public education. This is significant.
Saramen Chuuk Academy exists as a response to a failing public education system. This seems like a fair and justified response. With the public schools failing, the Church does the society a service by providing quality education for the most promising youth. The problem is, all the churches do this, and you end up with 8 schools for a population of a few thousand, and resources being split up and wasted. Why not use all that power, influence and money to get the public system back on its feet? And instead of bringing JVIs to Saramen Chuuk Academy, why not send them to the public school? Put all the volunteers together? This would truly, more purely satisfy the needs of the people, especially of the poor, which ought to matter to a Christian. So, I’m not convinced that SCA’s very existences was, or is the best response to a failing public high school, and I’m not convinced that I couldn’t be of more use at Chuuk High School.
Secondly, I’m working in Chuuk which, while it got screwed over by the U.S., feels like a place that needs to take control of itself and take its destiny back into its own hands. There are Chuukese who could teach, but do not for a various number of reasons. Most predominantly it is because they never came back from their education and experiences abroad. It is not clear to me that we, as volunteers, are what is needed at this point. At least, not as North American, western volunteers.
Chuuk needs self confidence, optimism and hope in its own abilities. I do not want someone to attribute a Saramen Chuuk Academy student’s abilities to the presence of Jesuit Volunteers. I want them to attribute it to the school itself, a Chuukese school, run by Chuukese, for Chuukese. And to attribute it to the abilities and strengths of the student him or herself. In short, I want to be invisible. If we are going to be here, then I want to be as silent and unnoticeable as possible. I want Chuukese to see the inherent potential of Chuukese, despite the discrimination, direct and indirect, that comes from the other states and countries. If we cause a deflating “oh, it’s because they have Jesuit Volunteers” sentiment then I want to leave.
For these two reasons I do not think I will ever be fully at ease here. Not that I don’t love it. I love the people, the students, the school, the teachers. The islands are beautiful, and I’m happy on a day to day basis. Wonderfully happy. It is just that I am not convinced that everything is as it ought to be, that I really want to be supporting, full fledged, that which I am supporting, full fledged, simply by being here.
All that said, I find comfort in knowing that while it may not feel perfect, it is far from feeling wrong. I am happy, and I take comfort in doing what I can for a state that, like so many, has been marginalized and bullied and has had a massive uphill battle towards equality placed before it.
This I Believe
A great book, Monica and I read them all while she was here (her idea) and decided it would be wortwhile to try writing ones ourselves. So, we got our whole community here in Chuuk to write them, and then one Monday night shared them all. Caitlin, earlier today, said she sent hers to a friend and I realized it would be a great thing to put on this here blog. So, I went to my office, found what I wrote, and here it is:
The Equality of Experience
I believe in equality. Not a political, social, and/or economic equality, but a deep, thorough and utter equality of our human experiences. I believe that no one’s experience can set that person above or below anybody else in the world. I believe it can set them apart, yes, for I believe in diversity – I believe in infinite diversity. I do not believe in a hierarchy in the value of given human experiences, given human lives.
My two best friends that I have had the longest in life thus far are Dan and Alex. I have known Dan since before I can remember, and Alex since 7th grade. Both are more intelligent than I, and yet for different reasons were less “academically” inclined in elementary and then especially high school. They learned, and understood, but weren’t as bothered with all the “shoulds” of being a “high school student.” For my part, I did well enough “academically” and was accepted into a good school that my parents could afford. Dan went to a family school on the East coast and Alex went to none, preferring to explore and learn about life through his own means.
Because of my family and my college I have been able to spend time in many countries on many continents. I’m now teaching on a Pacific island with palm trees, coconuts and the ocean literally all around. I could write for pages about seemingly exotic sights and experiences, even though they are simply normal here. And yet, I know that when I return home the same beautiful thing will happen that happens every time we three have a reunion.
Dan and Alex have traveled less than I, and have had fewer “amazing experiences,” by our culture's ignorant and faulty idea and definition. Nonetheless, when we see each other, I will feel wonderfully humble. When I am with them, I know that they have as much to say, and will always have as much to say about being human as I will. For they, like myself, live it everyday.
It is this equality that I believe in. That the “human experience” is inherently made up of the equal sum of our individual lives, our individual realities, our individual experiences. That we each have as much sharing and listening to do as the next person. This I believe.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Hallowe'en Night
Wow. Cancelled last year at the last minute, this November 1st, 2007,